Traveling Within the Walls

Every Sunday morning, I travel, passing thru locked doors and gates into a world surrounded by concrete and barb wire.  Welcome to the Anchorage, Alaska Correctional Complex, a huge juggernaut of non description, tucked into a hill with the endless Alaska skyline of mountains in the distance.  

Wait! Let’s back up…and start with some context.  

First, you have to know something about me, I love to travel! 

The exhilaration of going to new places, hanging out in interesting destinations, and having unique experiences that only such places can give, brings me great joy. Going out into the world whether it be across the globe, locally or just to some weird occurrence, all make my heart sing. These moments expand my horizons, literally and symbolically. When I get to combine this love of travel with yoga, that’s even more blissful. Retreats, visiting other studios in different cities, and the novelty of practicing in picture tag worthy locations, these are all fantastic and truthfully fun experiences.

But, there is a catch.  

An unavoidable contrast  emerges when traveling with a yoga mat under my arm. The distinction between my own privilege with those who lack any of the same such liberty sharpens in my mind. Once observed and recognized, it is everywhere. The contrast and disparity now appear wherever I roam, whether here in my own city or out there in the vast wide world. 

It’s hard to ignore an eye opening experience.  It changes us. The awareness flows into every corner of our lives.  As I step on my mat the realization of privilege challenges my personal affirmations and lifestyle. It leads to a question. How can I continue in my traveling yoga lifestyle  and freedom unless I help others claim their own personal independence? Instead of traveling outward and filling my life with endless adventures and experiences, I want to start sharing my yoga with those who lack the ability to go anywhere.  

Where to start?  Sure, I could go on some service trip to a developing nation. I have done such things.  Back in my thirties, I partially owned a business leading others to do just this.  But even this can be an opportunity of privilege.  I want something raw.  After reflecting, it came to me.  Prisons!  Right here, just miles from my house are three such places,  Actually, a variety of homes that I lived and stayed in during my life had correctional facilities  nearby. If you look at where you live, I bet you will be surprised to see that correctional centers are near you too.  

So, it begins.  

Every Sunday I travel within concrete walls. Unseen eyes behind camera lenses watch as I pass through the double sets of shatter proof doors with a yoga mat under my arm.  After wandering through a labyrinth of heavy hallways and up staircases I enter the chapel. Really, it’s a multi-purpose room with non-descriptive institutional chairs, colors and whiteboards around the chamber.  Boxes of Bibles are tucked away in corners, religious pamphlets litter a table by the door and some grave verses taken out of context  are written in wet marker on the boards.  Fluorescents shine above brightly, giving light but no illumination. 

I take the next fifteen minutes getting  everything ready. I unroll mats and stagger them around the room, walk to the corners of the room reciting mantras then take several sun salutations on different mats.  The clock reads 9:30am, almost time.  The rattle of keys and the clicks of locks open heavy doors in the hallway. Twelve men in yellow scrubs walk into the room escorted by a guard.  They great me, shake my hand, some of them bowing slightly with hands pressed in front of their hearts.  

We begin, traveling inward with every pose. Together we are free.  We are explorers going beyond this chamber into realms untouched by the woes of this world.  We enjoy the experience and every moment even if just for 90 minutes. Then, it’s over.  Keys! Locks! Guards! Farewells with an Om and a Namaste. These are my students. This is my studio. 

Every Sunday I travel within concrete walls…

You can check out my adventures, teaching schedule and  my new blog on my website.  If interested in prison yoga please follow our work at Turiya of Alaska  on Instagram or Facebook 

Namaste Everybody!

On Travel and Being Here Now

Travel!!! See the world around you.

Why bother?  It's true, you can probably find what you want and are looking for where you live as far as the comforts and modern conveniences of life.  But...seeing the world around you with feet on the ground teaches a profound lesson if you are open.

Doubtful...well...read just a little more.

Curious about traveling and the boon of the road? Yes, then, continue reading.  Remember, this is just my experience, you will have to  pack your Patagonia Blackhole bag and see where you land to get what I am writing about.

As I hacked at these reflections on my last long trip, my darling wife and I were rolling across the Northwest from Vancouver back to Seattle riding leisurely in the lounge car of the Cascades Amtrak line (a wonderful way to travel).  We took eight days off from our lives in ANC and set out for a leisurely get away.  At first, it we wanted some far off destination with sunshine and maybe beaches  but honestly that's not really us.  We wanted to do the things we love most of which revolve around nice long eye gazing meals, artsy neighborhoods and random classes at chic yoga/fitness studio boutiques.

Ultimately, we bought some inexpensive tickets to Seattle (only one jump away which for an Alaskan is important since it takes a lot of effort to leave this attached island), rented some hipster envy AirB@Bs and  added some international flare by getting return train tickets from Seattle to Vancouver.

Mind you,  we could theoretically in a certain sense do all the things here in Anchorage that we did on our trip.  It's true. Currently, we reside in a funky art cottage within in a artsy hood called Spenard. There, we know the groovy restaurants and what classes to take from the best instructors.  Still...there is something about going somewhere else and doing it all the same sort of way in a different context, most of all there is one lesson above all that doing this  teaches.

What is it?

Learning to be where you are when you are there or as that joyous mystique Ram Das declares, "Be here now."

When traveling, one needs to be present to the details and open to the randomness that the road brings.  Sure you can plan everything to a perfect plan.  Many people do.  We probably know people who do this and we know how exhausting that can be.  I am referring to a different path. Instead, I am thinking about the journey  when you leave open moments for the magic to shine through.   One needs to plan enough to have a framework.  I absolutely agree that a certain amount of intention setting and organizing needs to be done so one can enjoy the trip without anxiety.  After this minimal planning,  it's essential just let it roll out before you and  enjoy every moment that you are in.  Or else, you will miss out on the miracles, the secret gems of discovery, the right restaurants off the guide books, the groovy streets that nobody ever talks about back home, the pleasure of meeting people you don't know and just those indescribable serendipitous moments that only a traveler knows.

But...step off the present, start answering emails, texts, tagging oneself and guess what?  The now vanishes and the other worldly portals of the road grow dim.  To experience all that a trip brings one needs to be right there and attentive to the now of the journey.  I know this to be true and have been in awe of how things just worked out, and in honesty have also missed so much, focusing on "life" instead of being in the "it" of where I was at the time on all those trips over the years.

So...what's the point?  Travel, let go of needing to be in control and see what everybody is telling you to see, step away from your guidebook and trip organizers then let yourself be free in the world of blessed coincidences.

Then, come back to where you are and bring this attentiveness to the moment with you. Be here now and let your life be one of openness.

Om Shanti...


 .

Walking Here and There

So...about five months ago my car got hit and stopped being road worthy.  Honestly, it was sort of a relief once the immediate crisis of the scenario settled in my mind.  Although that car hauled me around for five years it was a lemon from the time of purchase.  Often, it's mechanical oddities stressed me out, and although I wanted to be all mindful and let it go, this question of whether or not I would actually get to where I was going always rested in my mind.  Probably the best thing about the car was that I developed quite a Japa yoga practice chanting Om, Sohum and the Ganesh mantra while driving around and wondering if it would make it.  So, rather joyfully, I sold it for parts and pocketed the money I received for damages.

At first, I went to the bank and started the uncomfortable process of financing and that entire intrusive dance.  After the dismal investigation of exaggerated car costs and interest laden payments, I had second thoughts about the whole structure of our society and the cost of cars.  I am not an eco-warrior and not trying to make a statement but after a rather heated conversation with a bank official and shady vibes from more than one car salesman I decided to put one foot in front of the other and begin walking since I am lucky enough to live only twenty five minutes from work by foot.

Now, remember, I live in Alaska and this all happened in October.  Winter and cold were approaching but I was determined to make a change.  I purchased a warm slick jacket then made sure I had toasty gloves and hat.  Smart Wool socks and beat up Extra Toughs came next.  I was ready.  Yes, I walked through snow and cold then into the bursting spring of Alaska.  Most of all, I started to use my legs, felt connected to my body on a deeper level and saw the world around me again with fresh eyes.

When one walks, a whole vision opens up! One starts to see.  Of course, we always see but do we see?  The obvious images of the same old landscape that I saw everyday now began to take on a character and a depth.  The nuances of sky at different times of day initiated  awakening before me, the shifts in air and the subtleties of the atmospheric moisture made sense to my body.  I started to see the beauty again of Anchorage, Alaska even in the midst of grimy streets, wandering street people and dirty snow.  The never ending whirl of light and darkness in this frontier landscape became real again for me as I watched the sunshine diminish in winter  then return again behind the mountains as spring came back.

Then, there were the people of the street.  The wandering folk of Anchorage who one sees on corners or at cross walks making their way through the elements.  Sometimes drunk , sometimes moody, sometimes just getting by but always friendly, there is a certain communal aspect that they share and I get to be part of it as one of the walkers.  We greet each other, sometimes just a nod or at times a random conversation about weather while waiting for a red light so we can cross some raging road.

Walking clears the mind and focuses one on the here and now.  I believe this completely and this experience has furthered my conviction on this point.  I think I will continue to walk and keep this connection to myself and the greater world.

Take sometime and just walk here and there.  Find a way to let your feet carry you and enjoy the journey.

Om Shanti...

Dharma Training

Over a year ago, I started to play with the idea of going on and getting the next level of yoga and completing a 500 RYT certificate somewhere.

Thus, the investigation began.  Numerous website visits, emails and inquiries led me on several fantastical mental journeys of who I might study with for this important next step.  After several conversations with my trusted advisors, friends and family then a whole set of mental jumping jacks, I chose Dharma Mittra in NYC as the right person to study with for this advanced training.

Dharma Mittra, I didn't really know a lot about this interesting and somewhat mysterious gentleman that so many hailed as their teacher.  As a young man he immigrated from Brazil to the United States, landed in NYC  then immediately met and started studying with his guru.  He spent years in an ashram, learning the ancient skills of yoga eventually going on to open his own studio and training program.  This was all over the course of decades. Some say that he is the last of a certain era.

Now, he is getting ready to move on to the next stage of his life, his children are grown, numerous disciples run his programs and the studio space  that so many have trained in is being bought out by a neighboring consulting firm.  This would be the last year that a particular style of training would take place.  This is the context I traveled off from Anchorage to the Big Apple this past fall for two different week long immersions in the lineage of Sri Dharma Mittra.

I  trained over the course of a few months combining long days of immersion, independent work and teaching projects.  It's nice to reflect on my experience now that it's almost complete.  Admittedly,  I started with many expectations for myself and for the training.  Expectations are dangerous things; they paint pictures with and in the mind of possible experiences of events and outcomes that are phantasmal.  I can be completely honest here and say that all and none of my expectations were met!

What did I expect anyway?  Basically, it came down to three.

1. Feel Legit! Yeah, I know this may sound strange but there is this little voice somewhere inside me that always doubts my path, career and validity of being a teacher.  All of us probably have such a inner whisper at times.

Well...now that's over, do I feel legit?  Not at all and completely! At first, I felt even less so after training and being with so many advanced asana and serious yogis who bend like pretzels while sitting around speaking about veganism for long periods of time.  But that was my own mind comparing and creating negative stories about what a yoga teacher is supposed to be.  In this limited respect, I felt less than legit.  But...if I go past this and look at the deeper teaching of yoga and what Dharma shared in his talks then I am more legit than I ever thought before going.  I got what he was talking about on  a cellular level even if I can't bend like play dough or describe raw foods very well.  When in doubt, I just need look at my certificate and remind myself that I did the training, completed the course and currently work as a successful yoga teacher.

2. Connect to the greater yoga world.  Of course, I live and trained in Alaska and wonder what yoga teachers from all over the world are doing.  I was hoping to make all sorts of professional acquaintances and develop a connection with teachers from all over the globe.  Well...it didn't happen.   Yeah, I have a vast number of new social media contacts but on a deeper level, I didn't really make many lasting rendezvous while there.  The training was long (twelve to fourteen hours a day for eight days) and truth be told most of us just wanted to be alone or connect with loved ones when we were off.

Still, I did connect to the greater world of yoga in a way never imagined. Walking around NYC during breaks watching all of its aliveness, journeying back home to Alaska and being with my students again,  I realized that the real world of yoga goes way beyond the walls of pastel colored yoga studios.  Life and all of its dance is the ultimate asana practice.  Yes, I feel connected now to the greater world of yoga but in a way I never imagined.

3. Deepen my teaching. Sometimes it seemed I had slipped into a rut with my teaching and needed new inspiration to take me to another level. The hardest part about this desire was that I didn't really do very well in my teaching practices while in training.  I received poor feedback and less than complimentary words on my style and skills from my instructors.

Ok, without sounding like a martyr this isn't a new experience for me.  I don't really do well in staged and mock teaching settings.  I have a hard time taking them seriously and regardless of how they are set up know it's not real.  Besides, I feel judged in those moments and don't like it.   I am probably not the best student. I know this is harsh but being on the path means to be honest about our own perceptions and recognizing how we learn. I do better and feel what I am learning by doing it in the field.

So in the end, I still feel like I am winging it a lot of the time. Maybe,  we never arrive at some summit of knowledge that we then poor down upon others.  No, it's from that place of being vulnerable and knowing that we don't know that our teaching starts to deepen.  At least, this is my experience.

Yes, I am a 500 RYT now.  I would like to share with you  all sorts of answers and expertise but instead less knowing is all I seemed to get out of it.  There are no external answers, formulae and solutions when seeking, just more questions and doubts. I accept this and see that this is the depth I sought.

What's next?

Discovering your Way

There is no fetter like illusion, no force greater than Yoga, no friend greater than knowledge, and no enemy fiercer than ego.  v.4 Gheranda Samhita

There is a path we all want to live in our existence, walk and breath, one that has been written upon the very halls of destiny.  Perhaps, it dwells deep within the marrow, far set into the furthest recesses of our minds, hard to tell from whence it comes.  But…it is there.  Even the most skeptical of persons must admit that each and every one of us carries propensities towards a particular nature that tends to far exceed nurture.  

The ancients, they knew of such things.  This identity behind the personalities of culture and creed were called a variety of things.  Soul, daemon, genius, atma, Self, the list goes on yet the mystery remains the same.  There is something within that transcends and intends beyond the masks of our temporal lives that drives us to be who we are meant to be.  If one is truthful and reflects upon the path of life from birth to now, one must agree.  

Finding this path, one’s way or dharma is the goal and beginning of life.  To realize what is the task of bliss for each every person is the focus of all great legends and epic tales.  

Why am I here? What is my purpose? What is the meaning of my life? 

All questions, reflections from the magnetic draw of serendipity.  

We all feel it, the pull to be what we are meant to be. Indeed, we are drawn to the unique identity that is our role in this cosmic play we call life.  To find our place is a magnanimous fortune.  It is not easy, even though who we are is always there but it is covered by powerful magical illusion that bewitches our minds and leads us astray.  The life we live, the generations we are born into, the cultures that surround us, all these and more cloud our inner vision and place us in an existence that limits us from seeing our true nature.  Fate, karma, bad luck, these are all the same, remnants of what was before coming into the now.  Accepting this and seeing that there is something larger and more profound than these identities is the shaft of light in the darkness that reveals true knowledge.   

Knowledge begins the journey to liberation.  We see through darkness, out the cave of limitations and realize that a life beyond our imagination exists, one of true satisfaction and fulfillment.  This is the road we are meant to travel.  

If this were enough, so many would be happy and full of infinite joy.  But, most have this beatific sight then ignore it or fall into despair because what was seen seems beyond any reach of present circumstances?  Too many distractions, obstacles surround it.  Honestly, even for those who see and strive after it, what was seen as the path is confused and clouded by perceptions of our mind so the goal becomes even further out of our hands.  This is the realm of the ego and it's skewed take on what are meant to be binds us to ultimate disappointment.  

Here resides a force capable of leading us to the life we are meant to have.  It is a way that has taken many forms and shapes though the ages.  The moment we look at the vision of our lives see it and say yes to it, the cosmic wheels begin to churn and place before us the practice that will lead us into the life we are meant to live.  It will be different for every person.  

I call it Yoga! Name it whatever you want.  Go deep into it and you will discover the way to liberations and fulfillment.  

This is the plug that when connected to what we seek will illuminate our way.  Through following a course of yoga whatever it might be for one, however it manifests itself and then through a determined practice we will be led to the way we were meant to walk.  

May you find your Yoga!!!

Finding Meditation

First, without bragging let me just describe my life.  I teach five to eight yoga classes and week then add four to five indoor cycle sessions on top of that, fill in to sub in both disciplines, have private sessions with clients as well as oversee several instructors as their direct supervisor.  Oh, and, of course, there are all those extra projects that come along and fill my days.  This is all interesting but the days get filled and time slips away. Basically, my life is busy.  Granted I work in a really uplifting profession but even when one does what one loves things can be intense and exhausting especially when too much ends up on my mat or on the spin cycle.

What to do? 

I could just do more in an attempt to take care of things.  Work differently, find a better schedule, delegate, try and take time off, plan a vacation (that’s real work) and so on…but all this becomes more stuff to do in the end.  

I know in those moments it becomes apparent that it’s time to meditate.  The ultimate act of some non-doing!  That's right, not more doing, but more nothing just to be and be still without worrying about results or what it will get me.   When I meditate, I allow myself to exhale in a whole state of being sort of way then let the world dance by in all its seeming importance until at some point the chatter, urgency and importance of it all drops away allowing a quiet to emerge.  There in that place beyond the ripples of life the truth exists and what really matters rises to the surface and reveals itself.  

There from that place of quiet contemplation I see the relative nature of my acts.  Even when I am attending to great matters and taking care things that must be completed if I am to live a life without complication, still these too become secondary to what I find in meditation. 

This is the real path anyway. It’s not the action, the teaching, all the doing rather this is the arrow that points to the reality of a deeper experience.  Sitting, resting, and all the manifestations of meditation become the real goal of work, yoga and any other act.  

Strangely enough when I grant myself these moments, I receive what is needed to move forward. Sure things may still seem stressful and the day can be filled with obstacles and struggles but when I touch that inner serenity there possibility emerges beyond the immediate occurrences.  This creates a ground from which to move onward.   From this, things evolve, tasks get completed, the necessary finds its completion and the fringe falls away.

Most of all though, it’s not the result of the mediation that matters, this would make it another task to complete if this is the case.  It’s simply to go to where I am truly who I am, the place without masks, definitions and identities and to rest in that.  This is the realm of true Knowledge, the knowing that matters.  Just that!  

As an ancient text declares in all it’s directness.  

By Constant Meditation (comparable to the rubbing of the fire-wood) is kindled the flame of Knowledge, which completely burns up the fuel of ignorance.  V42 Atmabhodha

May we all unplug in our days and find this.  

Enjoy the Ride!

Favorite Morning Affirmtaion

I have tried all sorts of affirmations and mantras in my time.  Friends, inspirational books and teachers have given all sorts of suggestions, some complicated and others interesting.  But,  the one I prefer and use is simple and open ended.

Almost every morning, I open my journal and write down the sweetest words.  They are so simple.

Ok-are you ready?  Here it is.

Everything I need now is here!  

That's it, the magic formula to success and living a blissful day, at least for me.  I do what I can through my day following my truth and then trust that the process will take care of me, leading me where I need to go.

Just try it or make up your own version then live into the day knowing you are on a journey with a universe whirling in and around you that completely supports your story.  Maybe, you don't believe that right now but see what happens and perhaps you will start to see that you indeed are taken care of everyday.  It doesn't mean that you won't doubt or have bad times, just that there is a purpose to your life and that it is to be the most radiant being you are.

Om